First of all, I decided to create a new account for blog related matters.
It didn’t feel right to keep it on the same account I have for the story.
With that out-of-the-way, I will now try to explain why I chose such a topic as my first blog.
I have been living with chronic pain for many years.
It took years for doctors to believe me because for some reason they seemed to think I was too young to have any issues like that.
I now know that I have a crocked back and an anomaly in my brain that I was born with but they still don’t know if that’s the cause of it.
Why do I call it an invisible trait instead of invisible sickness?
Yes, I rarely have days with no pain but does that make me sick? No. For me personally, it does not make me sick, it just means I have limits like we all have. My limits just seem to make me easier drained if I push myself to the limit. I will try to use examples because I fear I will lose my focus and just write nonsense otherwise.
My energy seems to never be at full capacity. I rarely wake up feeling refreshed. My energy levels seem to be stuck at 80-90%. I am aware of this so usually feel the need to have routines. Work is my first priority (after taking a shower of course). If I still feel like I have energy to spare I can do chores like cleaning my apartment or grocery shopping.
- Work: Like pervious mentioned I prioritize work. If I can’t work I can’t pay my bills or food.
- Social: I’m rarely social. I never feel like I have the energy for it. The ones I know also don’t live in a walking distance from me which means I need to plan when to visit and for that I need money to spend which I rarely have.
Now, since I used invisible traits there is almost no limit to what I can add.
Social anxiety is also something I struggle with. It’s not anything severe but it do affect my social life. This is also not something most people (family, friends) know about. It’s easier to be honest when you don’t have to face the person.
Depression is another trait and while this can be considered as a sickness I’ve chosen to just accept it as a part of my personality. I ‘blame’ the chronic pain on that one. Some days are worse than others and I even have days where I feel like walking on a cloud just to crash-land on the ground and stay down for days or weeks.
I was supposed to write about one more thing but I need to end this blog post here for now.