Memory Lane: Voice Within.

A few days ago I wrote Self Doubt, Hesitation & Fear and took a unpleasant walk down memory lane. It devoured me and now all I want to do is to erase that day. Erase those memories that’s now forcing me to crawl up this pitch black well yet again.

I’m still contemplating whether or not I should delete that blog post. I feel like I said too much. Maybe I should let it stay as a reminder?

No matter how fast you run and how well you hide the past will eventually catch up to you.

I’ve been trying for hours now to figure out what to write but I can’t think of anything.

Here’s something I wrote around a year ago but why I suddenly remembered this specific piece I can’t say or sure. Maybe because it feels similar to how I feel now.

Voice Within

Whether I chose to abandon you or bury you inside
I can no longer remember.
Did I hide you away for a time in need?
Or did I abandon you because the thought of you scared me?

I see now that I need you.
I will not let you be in control.
You are a part of me and I’m a part of you.
We are one and the same.
Yet, I will not become you.
It would swallow me.
Devour me.

I will not let you become me.
It would be your end.
Where there’s light there is darkness.
Without you, I’m lost.
Without me, you’d fade away.

Whether or not I can no longer run.
I will no longer hide.

You, the voice in my head.
I will no longer ignore.
You’ve screamed for so long.
Begging me to listen.
You mean no harm.
I finally remember.
I once were you.

I grew because of you.
My pride and joy.
My sadness.
My Anger.
I will no longer cage you.

I gave you a name
Yet I took it away
I claimed it as mine.
I used it to hide.
Behind a mask.

I..
You..
We..
Our name is..

We will never disappear.

 

~Kester

 

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