Am I selfish?

I work way less than so many people, do I have the right to complain about being constantly worn out? Do I have the right to even feel like I work too much at times when there are people working longer days than I?

I struggle with so little, so meaningless things, compared to so many others, do I still have the right to feel the way I do at times?

I smile. I laugh.
Not always truthfully but enough to maintain the mask of mine.

People have their own problems, their own fear, their own demons and their own thoughts.

Anxiety, depression, physical conditions and the list goes on forever.

Financial, living situations and the list goes on.

Racism, harassment and abuse. The list is endless.

I’m just one individual on this Earth. One of billions.

Am I selfish for wanting acceptance and the chance of being myself without judgement?

Am I really as worthless as I feel.

I’m without a doubt not the only one having these thoughts.

I’m without a doubt not the only one that learned the painful way that being your true self is impossible without starting a new life.

Not alone.

You’re not alone.

Reach out.

There’s always someone who will accept you for who you are.

There’s always someone who will care for you.

There’s always someone who can’t see themselves without you in their lives.

What’s the difference between real life and the life you’ve created on the internet?

You have the ability to be exactly who you are. Who you feel. Who you fight to become in the ‘real’ world.

You have a place where you don’t need to hide.

This is the real me hidden behind a pseudonym.

I have good days and I have bad days.

I have days where I barely eat or sleep.

I have days where I eat a lot and sleep 12 hours without feeling rested.

I’m not perfect and I never want to be.

All I want is my financial situation to be enough for me to life comfortable without constantly worrying.

I want to be true to myself and being able to say it without fearing how they react.

I wish the world was more open.

Feeling like a joke because we need labels to express how we feel, how we see our self and who we are.

Society is slowly improving but not fast enough.

Respect and accept.

Am I just being selfish?

 

~Kes

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